Weight problems in children: be careful with what you say
For those of you who are parents or are frequently around children, a cautionary note: Realize that you are contributing to the formulation of your child's beliefs every day. Be aware, very aware, that what you say, how you phrase it, and how you respond to situations and individuals are being cataloged by the child. My wife and I are very careful in our household about using certain words or phrases. We don't use the words fat or overweight, especially around our five-and-a-half-year-old daughter, as she hears everything within a six-mile range. Whenever my kids - or for that matter, any children - are within earshot, I ask people not to talk about weight loss. This can be tough because, naturally, weight loss is the principal topic about which most people want to pick my brain. When we talk about what Daddy does for a living, we tell our kids that I help people eat healthy food and exercise.
Can you just see the impact of telling your children that Daddy helps people lose weight? Immediately, regardless of their size, they would look at themselves and ask, "Do I need to lose weight? Am I overweight?" Certainly this is one of the last things parents should desire for their children. Don't create an image in children that causes them to fixate on an issue that may or may not be an issue. Avoid creating an obsession. Remember, children do so want to please their parents. They are constant observers of adult behavior and frequently mirror that behavior.
Decades ago, the psychiatric community didn't urge us to be careful with what we said and did in front of children. Today, we realize the powerful impression we make on the young. Eating issues tend to begin very, very early in life. Body images are formed early. Please exercise caution with regard to comments about body weight when you are around all children. Trust me, I didn't like being told I had a cute" potbelly. I realized this was negative commentary. Adults laughed at me and hurt my feelings; I ended up eating even more.
This prompts me to bring up one more point regarding parents and children. Overweight parents should realize that they may be raising overweight children. Just be cognizant that what you are doing now is being mirrored by your children. Children want to please their parents. If that means sitting around the house watching television and eating chips, they'll do it. If it means running around the block and eating apples, they'll do it. So much of their ramming, especially in the early years, rests with you. Kids are terrific at copying. It's how they learn. Recall the expression "Monkey see, monkey do."
We become "imprinted" with certain behavior patterns at a very early age. According to Judith Sills, Ph.D., the author of Excess Baggage, these imprints then become a powerful bridge between mind and body. "It's taken years for your mind to build its scaffolding of tricks and worries," she states, so "it takes time to dismantle." Realize this. Don't pile that "excess baggage" on your child.